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The Weekly Inventions of
Dr Splatterjacket

On a blank table lays a handle for an implement which has some buttons and a readout display showing 230 degrees C. Next to it is a roller and above it is a fluffy roller which is used for applying paint.

HeatRoll

15th August 2026

I had followed Dennis to the location shown by my drone. He had met with the gerbil henchmen and then just as I finished eating my warm toastie from my BakeBrella the henchmen gerbils left, and then so did Dennis.

I waved, but I don’t think he saw me. He seemed to be doing ok on his mission, and I knew I needed to get back to the house. I couldn’t really remember what was on my ChronoRide to do list but it was probably some boring stuff that I had to do. So, I thought I would go home and remind myself of what I needed to do.

But when I got home it was obvious what I needed to do. There was an alert flashing on a panel in my house. One of the liquid magma flows inside the mine had gotten really hot and was starting to cause a real issue. What should I do? Real issues caused by magma are not to be ignored.

I knew I didn’t own the mine. George did now.

I knew I didn’t technically have responsibility for the mine. George had that too.

But I did live directly next door to the mine. So, I decided to use my trusty AdhiSiPass to print me another ticket into the mine so I could work out what to do.

Now I can imagine what you would be worried about when you heard that the liquid magma in the mine shaft next to you had suddenly heated up. You’d be thinking, “isn’t this what happens before a volcano”.

And sure it is what happens before a volcano but the chances of this mine to the centre of the Earth turning into a volcano are, I presume, very low.

I was worried about something much more important. Would the increased heat crack the paint on the walls in that section?

I rushed down to the section and while you might have panicked I didn’t because I had HeatRoll.

HeatRoll is a combination temperature detector and paint roller. The ideal tool for exactly this situation and many more besides… probably.

First, I whipped off the roller part and used the scanner part to check the temperature readings. Sure enough the magma was very hot. And what I’m talking here is hot for something that was already “melted rock” hot. I was going to need to repaint the walls.

Then I put back on the roller and dipped it in some heat-resistant paint and got to work. Within minutes (2,460 minutes to be precise) the whole chamber was repainted, and I checked the temperature again and the HeatRoll showed it had come back down. Phew!

So, if you need to take magma or a person’s temperature and you need to put paint onto a wall then you need a HeatRoll today!

Note to self: Perhaps invent some genuinely heatproof paint. It might save me quite a lot of repainting next time.