So, Dennis was worried about George funding the mine.
Jenny was worried about Zargoid 5 going on holiday.
It seemed everybody was worried about something.
Except me.
Because I don’t worry.
Still… I clearly needed to think about this issue.
Was there something connecting all of these strange happenings? Could there actually be something to it? I knew exactly what I needed to do. I had seen people do this in films countless times.
I needed to walk out into the rain and think deeply while dramatic music played around me during a montage.
Obviously, I could provide the music myself using my HeatHorn, HarmoComb or FluTonePen. I couldn’t use MelodicTissues, of course. They might get wet.
…but I’ll tell you who won’t be getting wet. Me! Because I’m using my latest invention, DrySmile.
DrySmile is a revolutionary new toothpaste, once you clean your teeth with it keeps you dry for the rest of the day (unless for some reason you eat a beef stroganoff).
Just think of all those people out there with umbrellas pointlessly trying to keep dry and failing? (Obviously people using ChalkBrella or DryBin aren’t pointlessly tying to stay dry they are staying dry while either using chalk or being in a bin).
With DrySmile you simply brush your teeth for 5 minutes (or more) and an invisible protective rain-proof shield with radiate out from your entire body. Now I have to admit that I have done zero research into what other effects the chemicals that make DrySmile work might have on you… so there is a good chance they might do something else really cool too.
So, I brushed my teeth and headed out. I walked the streets in quiet contemplation as people marvelled at how I managed to stay dry while they got completely soaked. I then had a sudden idea and had to rush back to the mine to write it down.
If you want to clean your teeth and avoid the rain then go no further, order your DrySmile today!
Note to self: The chemicals were from that collection I found labelled “Super Top Secret. Dangerous. Do not use.” I wonder what else I could use them for?
