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The Weekly Inventions of
Dr Splatterjacket

Do you sometimes need to print things and saw things at the same time? Of course you do, and if you don’t have a bit of a look at yourself. With PrintSaw suddenly doing these two things takes half the time (or the same amount of time as doing just one activity). Get yours today.

PrintSaw

18th April 2026

Now that I had everything I needed to successfully mine into the centre of the Earth…

…I realised that I didn’t have everything I needed.

The most important thing that I needed that I didn’t have was the map for the next stage of the mine glued to a piece of wood.

The problem with just having a piece of wood is that it doesn’t have the map of the mine on it. And a map on its own is flimsier than a piece of spaghetti that’s boiling in a pan of water.

And the last time I had a map with the structural integrity of boiling spaghetti I went the wrong way round a corner and started tunnelling up instead of down.

That is not a mistake I wish to repeat.

But how was I going to make my stable map? It might be a problem for somebody like you, but not for me, because I have PrintSaw.

PrintSaw is a combination colour printer and saw! It has everything you need to print things and chop things, or even both!

It even has a special mode called WasteTime which routes everything you print to automatically be sawed up. Ideal for creating really complicated puzzles.

I immediately set to work crafting around 100 blocks of wood and printing the same number of maps.

Now, I will admit there is one slight drawback: using the saw and printer at the same time can cause vibrations which mildly upset the alignment of the printer. But really would you prefer to have a map with slightly wonky lines on it, or a map so floppy that you are literally going the wrong way? I think I know which I would want and that’s why I use PrintSaw, and you should too. Get one today!

Note to self: Develop the PrintSawPro with built in gluing functionality. It will save a lot of extra work… and be far less sticky!