Just as I was getting ready to start mining to the centre of the Earth, the doorbell rang again.
Once upon a time I didn’t even know we had a doorbell.
Now I wish we didn’t.
I went to the door and was surprised to find Zargoid 5 standing there with lots of suitcases.
Obviously, he was using PuzzlePacks with TagVaults attached.
He told me he needed to get to the airport immediately.
Now, I wasn’t entirely sure where the airport actually was. I usually just go there on my MapCycle, but that obviously wouldn’t work with two of us.
But I wasn’t worried.
Because I had my GuideJacket on.
I loaded his luggage into the PageRide, told him to hop in, and off we went.
What is GuideJacket?
GuideJacket is a handy navigational aid that you wear. No more worrying about directions, your GuideJacket is plugged into the latest mapping and traffic data.
But the real genius is this: There’s a yellow stripe on the arm that starts blinking whenever it’s time to turn left or right. Extremely useful while driving, as it reminds you not only to turn… but to use your indicators.
And while it’s extremely useful in a car, it’s even more useful while walking.
Don’t you ever wish other people had indicator lights before they suddenly turn left or right on the pavement?
Of course you do.
The current system, where people just randomly change direction, is chaotic and frankly dangerous.
With GuideJacket, the chance of someone walking into you is reduced by over 3%.
Three.
Per.
Cent.
GuideJacket also includes a voice-activated audio guide. To help me practise my German, I had one of my miners record it. It says things like, “Biege links ab, du dumme Wurst” which if you don’t speak German means, “Turn left”. It also says, “Rechts abbiegen, Blumenkohlhirn” which means, “Turn right”.
It’s a bit longer than the English, but we all have to learn German these days.
I managed to get Zargoid 5 to the airport on time.
On the way back, I started wondering… Why hadn’t he just used the rockets in his feet? Or flown directly to his destination? Or even told me where he was going? I probably should have asked.
But unfortunately, it is very hard to hold a conversation while wearing the GuideJacket.
Anyway, once back at the mine, I turned off the GuideJacket and prepared to resume drilling… …when my phone rang.
It was Zargoid 5…
…from holiday.
He said he realised I probably had a few questions.
First: the rockets in his feet were in for repair at the rocket shop.
Second: he mentioned that, in his words, he was “so far ahead” in mining that he had decided to take a break, giving me time to catch up.
I thought this was very considerate.
And not at all suspicious.
He also mentioned what a fantastic journey to the airport he’d had thanks to the GuideJacket. He ordered one immediately. And you should too!
Note to self: Could the GuideJacket have an option to turn off the voice?
