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The Weekly Inventions of
Dr Splatterjacket

WashRide

28th March 2026

Now, I know… with my mine re-opened, you were probably expecting me to immediately start drilling to the deepest depths, overtake Zargoid 5, and finally punch through to the centre of the Earth.

Yeah, me too!

But there’s a problem:

Zargoid 5 took all of my money. (Which used to be his money… ridiculous.)

So now, I have to come up with a whole bunch of new inventions that you will definitely buy, so I can afford the drilling again.

Now… no offence… but you probably don’t have a spare $1 Billion lying around.

But governments do.

So, I’ve decided I’m going to target governments… Just think about it. I’ve already invented WashCharge, ShearWash, and all sorts of cleaning products… and yet…

people on the bus still whiff.

So, here’s my latest: WashRide. A mobile washing machine service on your local bus. Genius. Sure, there’s one small issue, sometimes the spin cycles get in sync and the bus crashes off the road. But apart from that, WashRide is flawless.

If you are a government, or you are looking to overturn one… this is the manifesto pledge for you: WashRide – cleaning for everyone, wherever you are… or are going.

Note to self: Maybe consider WashTrain or WashPlane to expand the range?