Now that the brand-new Sulphuric Acid Gas leak had been fixed, Zargoid 5 and I decided to walk further into the mine. Walking to near the centre of the Earth does take a while, which is why I usually use my ScootPlanter, but I needed Zargoid 5 to be able to keep up with me, so we were using legs to travel around the place. Boring.
While walking Zargoid 5 was obviously thinking about his next holiday and mentioned that one of his key problems was that he found it very inconvenient having to keep track of all of the different documents he needed for travel. I looked at him in absolute amazement… did he not know about my very latest invention, MapPort?
MapPort is a sleek and modern travel passport integrated with a fold-out digital map display. The passport’s cover is durable, water-resistant, and features a subtle embossed globe design. When opened, one side displays standard passport pages, while the other reveals a thin, high-resolution solar-powered map screen showing a colourful, detailed city map with landmarks highlighted. Ideal for the busy traveller or robot.
To say Zargoid 5 was thrilled with the idea would be an understatement, and when I told him that I had 173 spare MapPorts back at the lab, he danced a little jig of excitement. He was so thrilled with the MapPort concept that he must have closed his eyes momentarily while dancing his jig and plunged immediately into a giant hole that had opened up nearby where we were standing. Sudden giant holes are a bit of a feature of deep mining, and to be completely honest doing eye-closed jigs, no matter how excited about recent inventions, is generally frowned upon.
I have to admit I was a bit worried about Zargoid 5 at this moment.
On the one hand, of course if he was now stuck down a hole in my mine he couldn’t be digging his own mine…
…but I wondered what would he be thinking if the tables were reversed? Obviously, this would be extremely unlikely as I do all my jig dancing strictly with my eyes open, it’s a matter of policy with me for exactly this reason. But I imagined it nevertheless…
And I decided that Zargoid 5 would be quite worried about me at this moment too. I started to piece together a few things about Zargoid 5… he had given me the money for the mine, he bought all of my inventions, he had never (intentionally) left me to die in the desert, and he always seemed to want to hug me / crush me to death… it was probably important to work out which of these two it was, but in the meantime and based on the other situations I decided that when I imagined Zargoid 5 looking down into a hole with me missing he would look just as upset as me.
In an ideal world we would both be looking distressed as we looked down into a sudden giant hole where some other inanimate object had fallen in…
Although why an inanimate object would have been doing an eyes closed jig I do not know. Obviously there was an even better scenario where nothing had fallen down the sudden giant hole, but we shouldn’t get greedy here.
Anyway, it wasn’t me, an inanimate object or nothing that had fallen down the sudden giant hole, it was Zargoid 5 who had fallen in and it was me standing looking worried at the top. And I needed to rescue Zargoid 5…
…at the very least because I wanted to sell him a MapPort, but not just him, you can buy one too!
Note to self: Consider putting some kind of barrier around these sudden giant holes to reduce the risk of something or someone falling in.
