Just after I packed away my lunch things, I started to wonder what I might do about being stuck in the middle of the Sahara Desert.
I wondered about it some more.
And some more.
And then I heard a noise. It sounded like a heavy door creaking open. I rushed back to the entrance of Zargoid 5’s mine and there he was.
“I’m so glad you are ok Doctor Splatterjacket, I was worried.”
“What happened to the door?,” I asked.
“Some wind blew it shut. That somehow jammed the locking system”.
Just as I expected.
Zargoid 5 ushered me back into the mine, I drank 11 glasses of water, and on checking my phone I noticed a message: “$1 Billion had been transferred to your account”.
Just as I expected.
Zargoid 5 offered me a slice of cake.
Just as I expected.
As we sat there chatting and chewing, I casually asked Zargoid 5 if he ever thought about going on holiday. I mean if he did go on holiday, it would certainly slow down his mining operation. He mentioned that he would like to, but that he could never think of anywhere to go. That’s when I mentioned my latest invention… StayGlass.
StayGlass is a handy drinking glass (ideal if you have just spent the morning in the Sahara Desert) which also knows about the location and rating of every hotel and bed and breakfast in the world, even the really secretive ones that nobody knows about. As you sip your drink it examines your DNA and uses it to predict your ideal hotel or bed and breakfast location and sends it directly to your phone so you can instantly book.
I would use it all of the time, but all it does is tell me to go directly to my mine to commence drilling.
I wasn’t entirely sure that Zargoid 5 had DNA as such, but as he drank some refreshing battery acid the StayGlass suggested several thrilling locations to him: The Tokyo Robot restaurant in Japan, The Haohai Resturant in China and the Robot Zoo in Dulwich. He decided to book a whirlwind holiday to all of them in one trip and asked if I minded if he set off immediately.
Just as I expected.
Do you want a glass that not only hydrates you but also tells you exactly where to go in life, based on your genetic material and preferred beverage? Of course you do. Book your next holiday with StayGlass today!
Note to self: Consider adding a feature to the StayGlass which allows it to be used again after having battery acid in it.
