As I awoke after my a very refreshing night’s sleep in my TredBed. With a totally Doctor recommended 36 minutes night’s sleep… well from this Doctor anyway. I got myself ready and decided to go back to the mine and see if I could work out another way to get $1 billion from Zargoid 5. I also, of course, wanted to find out any clues I could about the whereabouts of Dennis.
Zargoid 5 had just finished a light breakfast of some spark plugs topped off with a cup of steaming battery acid and looked to be ready for the day. Before I could say anything other than “Good morning”, “No thank you I don’t usually eat breakfast when I’ve lost my gerbil”, and a rather interesting discussion about soil texture in Lower Silesia, Zargoid 5 chipped in with a question.
“So you need a $1 billion do you?” he asked.
“Well,” I said, “I wouldn’t say I need a $1 billion, but you know how it is, it is the sort of money that can come in handy from time to time.”
Zargoid 5 said that he didn’t need to invest in TrendBed, but would be happy to give me $1 Billion if I simply explained how structurally I was able to do extremely deep mining very close to the core of the planet Earth. I could sense his trap, but he promised me that he merely wanted to understand the procedure intellectually, not actually use it.
With that reassurance out of the way I went back to my SawPack and extracted my EchoBoard. An EchoBoard is the ideal way to give lectures, it has a built-in microphone for allowing those at the back of the auditorium to hear but also creating a top-grade recording of your lecture, and it also has a dust free chalkboard to allow you to draw complicated diagrams that nobody can really understand. It keeps a record of these, alongside the recording so that at the end of the lecture you have a full audio recording and chalk-based diagram set to use for your notes.
Now I know that modern lectures use whiteboards. Pah! You think you can get proper ideas across using a whiteboard? Of course not. I’ve tried to explain concepts on whiteboards before. It’s like trying to compose an opera using fridge magnets. No thank you. Chalk is the language of the serious mind.
I explained the very complex mining structures that I was using to mine so close to the centre to the Earth and I do believe Zargoid 5 fully understood every aspect of my lecture thanks to the EchoBoard. He said he would review the recorded notes and if happy with them he would immediately wire me the $1 Billion. Given I recorded those notes on my EchoBoard I’m certain he will be. Do you need a $1 Billion? Then get an EchoBoard and give a lecture to a billionaire about something you know (and crucially they don’t) today!
Note to self: I wonder if I should have taken some kind of deposit?
