Obviously, my top priority was to rush to Zargoid 5’s mine and rescue Dennis. But first things first: I needed to deal with the giant robot-shaped hole in my house.
I had the cement (mixed by hand thanks to my DrillButton), and I’d piled it into the breach. But how was I going to smooth it out?
All my trowels were… somewhere. Probably locked in one of my “in-case-of-emergency-backup-backup-tool” storage vaults. Useless.
Luckily, I wasn’t useless.
Because I had my NewsRule.
The NewsRule is a precision ruler for measuring anything (as long as it isn’t loads longer than the ruler so you don’t have to have too many goes moving the ruler and hoping your finger stays still) and it is also the ultimate way to keep up with all the latest News and Current events.
It also turns out to be a pretty good way of making a concrete wall nice and smooth. While smoothing the cement I made sure to scan the airwaves for any news about Dennis, the stock market (those drills required a few loans), and my favourite corner of the internet Centre-of-the-earth-miners-anonymous. There were only two of us who ever posted in that group, I often wondered who the other person was.
At one point I got a fair amount of cement on to the screens which made it quite hard to work out what was happening in the stock market. Luckily, I could still see what was being asked, by whoever it was that was posting on the mining chatgroup. They were asking, perhaps surprisingly, about tips to do with caring for a new gerbil. I immediately pointed them in the direction of the Ferbil which should really keep their new pet in regular nourishment.
Having built a wall with it, I must admit that the NewsRule is versatile, but it is honestly quite useful just as a ruler or as a source of news… or both. Get yours today.
Note to self: Try and get that cement off that stock market section, just in case something important happens.
