After having managed to get my centre-of-the-earth drilling team making some actual progress by helping out myself, one of the team suggested that perhaps it would make more sense to hire more miners to use all of the nuclear powered drills we had rather than having most of them as in-case-of-emergency-backup drills or in-case-of-emergency-backup-backup-drills or in-case-of-emergency-backup-backup-backup-drills.
I immediately fired them. I can’t have somebody working in the mine that has such a reckless attitude to safety. However, while they were wrong about removing all of our important safety nets, I did think that perhaps we might need some more drills and backup drills, and backup-backup drills, and backup-backup-backup drills of course, and potentially some more miners would be able to help with these. We’d certainly need at least one more miner, me having fired one just earlier. So, I immediately hired the first out-of-work miner that I met, who actually had a lot of experience working on centre-of-the-earth mining, having left a position doing that just minutes before.
I ordered an additional 132 drills and decided that it was time for me to have a little break from mining as it was a Saturday. I immediately went home and decided to catch up on a few jobs around the garden. My hedge needed a little trim, and also my garden gloves needed cleaning, for normal people this would be an impossible situation, but not for me because I have ShearWash, a pair of garden sheers with an integrated ultrasonic clothing cleaning system.
Now you may think that having an ultrasonic clothing cleaning system attached to one side of your garden sheers might throw off your aim a bit when trimming your hedge, and I’m not going to try and pretend it doesn’t… it does. But given I have won the young topiarist of the year award 5 times running (I think the age restrictions on these competitions are more of a guide… and the senior category judges are too mean) I think you’ll agree that I must be doing something right, even if clearly by cheating to enter the competition I am simultaneously doing something wrong.
So don’t be left with mucky gloves and untrimmed hedges, get your ShearWash today!
Note to self: I wonder if there is a young drilling to the centre-of-the-earth prize I could enter?
