The other day, during a routine inspection of my centre-of-the-earth mine, I was horrified to find that one of the main drills had stopped. Naturally, I assumed the worst: Zargoid 5 had infiltrated my mine and sabotaged everything.
But no… it was far worse.
One of my own German mine workers had stopped the drill voluntarily. I rushed to confront him, prepared for treachery, but discovered him watching a video on his phone… of his child taking their first steps.
Unbelievable.
I asked what he thought he was doing, and he replied (in German), “Sie sind ein sehr dummer Mann.” I immediately translated this as, “I mistakenly believe that witnessing my child’s major milestones is more important than operating a high-powered subterranean drill.”
He then added, “Haben Sie wirklich Rollschuhe erfunden, die Vogelfutter verteilen?” Which I, of course, understood to mean, “Even when I’m home, I cannot see my child, especially when I am in the shower.”
That was when it hit me, what this man needed was a shower curtain which doubled as a video monitor for his baby, I had invented the GuardianCurtain.
Do you ever miss your child while mining into the centre-of-the-earth or showering? Do you want to make sure little Timmy or Verruca are safe while you are washing industrial dust from your hair? Then you need GuardianCurtain the ultimate peace of mind device for extremely attentive parents.
Now I have to admit that having a tv monitor on a shower curtain does make the curtain slightly harder to fold away between showers. It is also fair to point out that unfortunately GuardianCurtain is not machine washable, but which is more important to you… preventing mildew or keeping your child safe? I think we all know the answer is drilling to the centre of the earth is more important, but if your close second is keeping your child safe then get the GuardianCurtain today.
Note to self: I need to practice a bit more on the German translation, I don’t want to get rusty.
