As you know, I, Dr. Splatterjacket, am in a high-stakes race to the centre of the Earth against my sworn enemy, Zargoid 5. Now, obviously, there is zero doubt that I will win. Zargoid 5 will be nothing more than a broken shell of a robot, left staring blankly into space, unable to cry, which, let’s face it, makes his inevitable failure even more tragic.
However, there is one scenario in which he might win: Sabotage.
If Zargoid 5 were to break into my mine and damage my equipment, it could delay my victory. And so, I have taken precautions. I am training my body to become even fitter than a cheetah-elephant-flea. In case this very simple description confuses you normals, the cheetah is the fastest land animal, the elephant the strongest and the flea the best at jumping. To do this I have invented the FitLadder.
What is the FitLadder? Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. A ladder. That makes you fit. Surely you understand that? No? Of course, you don’t.
The FitLadder is a combination ladder for climbing up and down to get important exercise and also see things from further away, and a home gym. It has in built resistance bands and grip bars to make you as good as an ostrich-gorilla-tree-frog (that’s the second best of everything, I’m not having you beat me).
The FitLadder can very conveniently be folded away when not in use, or, I’ll admit, sometimes while in use. The folding catch can sometimes come unbuckled during the strain, locking you inside the FitLadder like a gymnastic prison. But that hardly ever happens more than 1 in every 3 uses. So, what are you waiting for get your FitLadder today.
Note to self: Don’t tell anyone about the built-in hand grip exerciser which pushes you up to cheetah-elephant-flea level.
