Do you remember when I said it never rains in my mine, so you never get wet?
I would like to correct that statement.
It turns out you can get very wet in the mine… especially if you’re just trying to do a good deed and accidentally trigger a full-body soaking disaster.
Yes, I, Dr. Splatterjacket, in my boundless generosity, occasionally help my mining crew. Just because they are forced to work 24-hour shifts and are strictly forbidden from using toothpicks (they kept dropping them into the expensive machinery, and honestly, the repair bills were outrageous) doesn’t mean I don’t lend a hand now and then.
The other day, one of my miners asked if I could bathe their dog. Simple enough, right?
Wrong.
Just as I was about to begin, my phone rang. A call from Zargoid 5’s henchman! The very same ASJIOFJNOSDNFNDSUNDS ONGFONKJGNKBUYWENJNCINSIUNDXW.
I was so startled by the unexpected call that I knocked over the entire bathtub… instantly drenching myself from head to toe.
By the time I waded to the phone, the henchman had already hung up. I immediately called back 17 times. No answer.
Deeply suspicious.
But while my brain was trying to unravel this obvious conspiracy, my genius was already working on a solution to prevent this very common problem:
Introducing AquaBrush! Have you ever accidentally knocked an entire bathtub over your own head while washing your miner’s dog?
Of course, you have.
Which is why you need AquaBrush.
The AquaBrush is a revolutionary grooming tool featuring a built-in hose attachment… eliminating the need for an unstable, treacherous, full bathtub of water. Instead, water flows directly through the brush as you detangle those difficult-to-reach areas.
Now I’ll admit that the dog may be a little alarmed the first few times when they think you are brushing, but you are actually AquaBrushing… but they soon settle down and might only bite you a bit. It’s not their fault that the AquaBrush is unsettlingly noisy.
So, what are you waiting for? Stop flooding yourself. Stop struggling with unpredictable dogs. Stop letting Zargoid 5’s suspicious phone calls distract you from great inventions.
Buy AquaBrush today.
Note to self: Is it just a co-incidence that the last time I was contacted by Zargoid 5’s henchman I was inventing AquaSnap?
