Bored. B. O. R. E. D. I’m bored. Another week, another shipment of my precious money siphoned off to pay my ridiculous fine. That money should be funding my magnificent magma yachts and diamond drills for Earth’s core exploration! Don’t they understand that I, Dr. Splatterjacket, am a genius who cannot be thwarted?
And then it hit me. If I’m sitting here bored, twiddling my thumbs, they have thwarted me. This is unacceptable. Genius cannot wallow. Genius must act! So, I’ve combined two of life’s greatest joys, games and snacks, to create my latest masterpiece: the PreserveDeck.
At first glance, it’s a perfectly normal deck of cards. But each card contains a micro-drawer, allowing you to stash delectable snacks inside! Ham, cheese, or even if you really flatten them, a pretzel.
Just imagine the look on your opponent’s face when, after thrashing them in Snap, you reveal that the cards they’ve been playing with are filled with crackers and jam! They’ll probably feel lucky to have been so thoroughly beaten.
Admittedly, the PreserveDeck is a bit thicker than your average pack of cards. But that’s an advantage! While your opponent fumbles around like a clumsy badger, you’ll already be drawing aces… and maybe a slice of salami too.
Games and snacks. Who could ask for more? Only villains would say no. So, get your PreserveDeck today!
Note to self: Check if I’ve left any milk-based snacks in the deck near the magma. Could be getting a bit whiffy.
