It is Dr. Splatterjacket here, reporting back after another gruelling week toiling in the centre-of-the-earth mines. One day, the world will wake up and realize that the Earth’s core is far more fascinating than Mars or the ocean depths. Mars? Too red. The ocean? Mostly wet. Boring!
You know what isn’t boring? Ideas. And lucky for you, I’m full of them. All the time. Take this week’s invention, for example. I assume you hardly ever have ideas so brilliant that even whispering one to a passing butterfly would cause broccoli to seriously consider becoming amphibious. No? Didn’t think so.
But fear not, mere mortal. I, Dr. Splatterjacket, am here to save you from your idea drought with my latest invention: the IdeaBucket.
At first glance, it’s a bucket. You can use it for mundane tasks like carrying water, storing your gold bullion, or smuggling stolen plutonium. Useful, right? But wait… there’s more! The IdeaBucket is no ordinary bucket. It features a sleek digital screen on the outside and houses sophisticated scanning technology on the inside.
Here’s how it works: whenever you have one of your puny, fledgling ideas, just make a note and toss it into the bucket. The cutting-edge technology inside scans everything you put in, from handwritten scribbles to artistic masterpieces… or even cute puppies.
Then, the screen on the outside springs to life, analysing the contents and generating revolutionary ideas based on the mind-blowing combinations within. Suddenly, your humble musings might spark the next great invention, social movement, or amphibious vegetable uprising.
Of course, the IdeaBucket is a serious tool for creative brilliance, and is only to be used for good, not evil.
Note to self: Do not sell this to my enemies.
